Though I started to get kind of used to the ol’ treadmill, I can't say I have learned to love it. I definitely prefer to run outside. It was a lot of time indoors pounding out the miles, but it did give me a lot of time to think about all the different people who I ran next to.
With that said, I have come up with what I consider the Top 10 Worst People to Run Next To on a Treadmill.
1. The Chatty Kathy: I had one of these next to me the other day- he wanted to talk about my pace, what I was training for, how far I was going, etc., etc. Sometimes, I don't mind making small talk, but it’s not really that easy to make polite eye contact when running on the ‘mill without a high risk of an epic fall. Also, most of the time, I just want to zone out, rather than being locked into a conversation with a stranger- a conversation that everyone else at the gym is forced to overhear….
Most of all, I don't want to end up like this little guy:
2. The Lurker: This person doesn’t show up too often at my gym, as there are usually enough treadmills to go around. Yet occasionally, there is a lurker...that guy who is peering over your shoulder, trying to make sure you're not disobeying the 30 minute cardio limit (but really, who only runs for 30 minutes?) This guy is quick to hop onto your treadmill if you make a quick bathroom break. He also doesn’t hesitate to call you out for going over the time limit allotted by your gym policy. Need to wipe the sweat off the ‘mill afterwards? No time! The Lurker has already hopped on.
3. The Unwelcome Competitor: Every time you change your pace, he changes his. Every time you increase the incline, he peers over and does the same. At this point, I usually try to position my sweat towel over the pace/info so he can't see. Take that, Unwelcome Competitor!
4. The Faker: This guy turns up the treadmill as fast as it goes, sprints for about a minute, and then puts his feet on the sides for a "break". He spends more time "breaking" than actually running, but hey, look how fast he went!
5. The Jeans Guy: Okay, more power to you for working out at all…but in jeans? I don’t want to know how nasty it gets inside those sweaty Levi's. It’s like skiing in jeans…100% failed fit!
6. The Cell Phone Talker: I don’t want to hear all about your drunken weekend escapades.
7. The Grunter: You’re working hard. You need to make sure we ALL know just HOW hard with several ugh, arghs, and uffdas…
8. The Overwhelming Body Odor Guy: The stench..it burns the nostrils! This guy hasn't washed his gym clothes in months, and has no plans to do so at any point in the near future.
9. The “High Perspire”: This person is sweating all over the place! I might be guilty of this one- I swear, the heat is always super high at my gym, and I finish most of my runs totally drenched. But there's nothing worse than getting a sweat shower from the guy on the treadmill next to you.
10. The Gas Passer: I am wearing headphones. Not a nose plug.
Just remember, the first rule of treadmill running is that you always select a treadmill that is on the end of a row if possible. Hopefully that means you only have to deal with a person on one side of you. Otherwise, you could be sandwiched between TWO people from the above list.
Do you have any others to add to this list? Please share in the comments!
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